everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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