Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
