haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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