So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
