he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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