plz talk dirty to me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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