There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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