He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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