I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
this just has baby written all over it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
