69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
