Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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