He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
