I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What did we do last night that was yellow?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
