I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You dont lie about slip and slides
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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