I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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