if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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