pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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