Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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