ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
