i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
