Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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