So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
