I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
