i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
