but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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