she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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