He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
