i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
