I think my vagina is haunted
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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