Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
