Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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