That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
