why didn't you poke me back
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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