Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
