She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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