I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
