Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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