after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
