This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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