We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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