Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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