Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Success! We fucked roommates!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
