I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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