I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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