Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
