the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
