i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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