i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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