I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
