forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
