How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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