So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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