wat bout pragnant strippers??
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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