Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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