I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
