What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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