If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
