i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize