wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
