was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
