At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
