My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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